He's hopping one of those shiny Plymouth & Brockton motor coaches, careening his way down to their luxurious terminal in Hyannis, and making his way to the docks, where he will board the ferry for Nantucket. On the island, he'll be staying at the Brant Point Inn (508 228-5442), but don't bother to call because he'll either be on the beach working on his tan, in the historical society library working on his research on the cochlear anatomy of the Atlantic bay scallop, or in the shops working on his T-shirt collection.

On Thursday 16 August, he'll board the Steamship Eagle at noon and be in Hyannis at 2:15, where he will retrace his route to Boston on that shiny P&B coach, arriving at the Budget car window at Logan Airport at 5:15PM. From there, he's off to Goose Rocks Beach in Kennebunkport, Maine (207 967-0985), but don't bother to call because he'll either be on the beach working on his shell collection, in the library working on the identity of Mary Holland Allen who was born in Sanford 27 July 1804 and was adopted by the Hon. Andrew Allen and his wife Mary Brooks, or in the outlets in Kittery working on his bric-a-brac collection.

After departing Goose Rocks Beach, Earl will wend his way south to the Greater Boston area (617 738-9172), but don't bother to call because he'll either be in Plymouth County scouting out the land of his forebears, stuck in traffic, or shopping at Filene's Basement for a new ascot.

He'll be boarding America West flight number 5307 at 2:20PM Saturday 24 August and, after a 36 minute stop in Columbus, Ohio, will be traveling through Phoenix, Arizona and arriving in Sacramento at 8:55PM on flight 771.